People truly will beilive what they want.

it doesn't mater what you say or do.

This is a really weird realization.

Not startling but strange.


I want to be thin and lovely and find someone that loves me that I can stay with.

I want to build my own deck and plant my own flower garden and be finally happy.



what I don't want is this constant cycle of pain and dissatisfaction. I'm sick of being tricked into believing that I am high maintenance. I want VERY FUCKING LITTLE.

My heart just sank today.

And broke in two. Total and utter Titanic.

Eating disorders.

My essay.


Since I have written that i can only affirm my view. More content in the future but for now what I have to say is this: People will always believe they are too something, fat, skinny, ugly, tall, short or whatever and ED will never go away only morph into the next trend.


On that note, my self esteem is so low now I don't see how anyone could find me attractive with an attitude like mine.

Mood apathetic.

SRS.

Pretty things make silver rings and people run in fear,
soon they're gone and it wont be long till life is rather drear.

Just another example of americans too afraid to fight back.

The New York shooting this morning.

Just makes me wonder.

A Monster Without A Name.

Once upon a time, there lived a monster without a name.
The monster wanted a name so badly that he couldn't stand it.
So the monster decided to go off on a journey to find himself a name. But because the world was so big...
The monster split into two and went on to two separate journeys.
One went to the East and the other went West.

The monster that went to the east found a village.
There was a blacksmith at the village entrance.
"Mr.Blacksmith, please give me your name" said the monster.
"I can't give you my name" replied the blacksmith.
"If you give me your name I will jump inside you and make you stronger in return."
said the monster. "Really? I'll give you my name if you can make me stronger." said the blacksmith.

The monster jumped inside the blacksmith.
The monster became Otto the blacksmith.
Otto the blacksmith was the strongest man in the village.
But one day he said:"Look at me! Look at me!""The monster inside of me has grown this big!"

Chomp. Munch. Gobble. Gulp.

The hungry monster ate Otto from the inside out.

The monster then went back to become a monster without a name.
Even though he jumped inside Hans the shoemaker....

Chomp. Munch. Gobble. Gulp.

He went back to being a monster without a name again.
Even though he jumped inside Thomas the hunter.....

Chomp. Munch. Gobble. Gulp.

He still went back to being a monster without a name.

The monster then went to a castle to find a wonderful name.
Inside the castle, there was a very sick boy.
"I'll make you stronger if you give me your name" said the monster.
The boy told him; "I'll give you my name if you can cure my illness and make me stronger." So the monster jumped inside the boy.
The boy became very healthy.
The King was delighted."The prince is well! The prince is well!" said the King.

The monster became fond of the boy's name.
He also grew fond of his life inside the castle.
That's why he endured even when he became hungry.
Every day, even when his stomach became very empty, he endured.
But because he became so hungry....
"Look at me! Look at me!" said the boy.
"The monster inside of me has grown this big!"
The boy then ate his father, servants, and everyone.

Chomp. Munch. Gobble. Gulp.

Because everyone was gone....The boy left on a journey
He walked and walked for days.....
One day the boy met the monster that went west
"I have a name" said the boy."It's a wonderful name."
And then the monster that went west said..."I don't need a name." "I'm happy even if I don't have a name."
"Because we're monsters without names."
The boy ate the monster that went west.

Even though he now had a name....
There was no one left to call him by his name.

Johan.

It is a wonderful name.