I want your love and I want your revenge.
This is what I thought up a couple of days ago, having awesomely MS-painted up this bitch I have to say I am a genius.
Half way to nowhere:
The problem with not trying is that it doesn't work. I have been doing it for years ever since I learned what failure was like. Even though I probably had the potential to do quite a bit more then I have done with my life (which I do regret) in some ways I never felt like I had the incentive to try. It wasn't just my fear of failure but my lack of reward, the only attention I got was mostly negative, people only seemed to notice when I did poorly. Its stupid to have to say that now but in my child mind thats what was happening and thats how I was treated and I always felt that no matter what I could never succeed or make my parents happy. Now I think I am to the point in my life where I need to man up and fix things but the pieces are almost all disappeared and I don't know how to pick up the missed chances of my adolescence and change things.
My still reflecting thoughts on The Virgin Suicides:
I guess the novel is designed in a way that you relate to Lux. I do but I don't, her feelings were human and I relate to that but I never experienced her experiences beyond that every girl does. Maybe its because that was not my time or maybe its because the novel is from the point of view of out side male observers looking backwards to reflect on their own adolescence through the accounting of their observations of these girls and their tragedy. I don't even think its that, its not a tragedy really that they accounted, sure the story of their death was the end result but the life they had was what really affected the boys because of the decisions that they made as a result of that life. I think the thing I related to was not a single or group of characters but actually the observation from all the perspectives of the stories tellers of experiencing something happening and it affecting you but not being able to put your finger on the reason why.